Confined : far from forgiveness

Some days it still haunts me

The way you confined and tortured me

The way you made me bleed

For your sins

None of it was conscious

So that is why my anger looks

Like psychosis or madness

Because the tender being of a child

Gets acted upon by all of these forces

But what is sometimes even harder to forgive

Is the way you treated me when the pain was opening up

I know you could not cope

But you hurt me so much

I am sick of swallowing it

There is a warrior inside me

That must rise

There is a part of me that can no longer lie

About the deepest hurt that drove me

When you allowed me no compassion, empathy

Or resting place

And the saddest thing

I blamed myself for years

Or got trapped in the role of beggar

For your attention or affection

No more

I am sick of swallowing it

There is only one thing left that I can

Give the world and to myself

That is my truth

And today my soul

Is honestly

So very far

From forgiveness.