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Sister

This still makes me cry. I see my cancer surgeon today and my sister is facing radiotherapy soon so its still raw for me.

emergingfromthedarknight's avatarEmerging From The Dark Night

Sister I will carry you if I can

But sometimes the weight of loss is so heavy

It is only the body that counts the cost

Of feelings we could never admit

To the Self that ached all alone

In its silent longing

You and I have known the grief of silence

Years ago we both sat behind the door

Remembering the adage

Be seen and not heard

So that now If it is hard to ask for help We need to remember why

So often our Mum didn’t think it was worth it to cry

Because no one was there

To dry the tears

I watch as you struggle to eat and see how your arms shake

Your body still containing

The terror of the knife which cut in to tender flesh

While consciousness was obliterated

But still somewhere the body knows

Did we really think we could fool…

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Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

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4 thoughts on “Sister”

      1. Don’t worry about me, I’m okay. Well, no, I’ve been stressing myself sick and my anxiety is through the roof, but I’ll get on top of it, it’s just taking time. You know how it goes. Some days just get on top of you.
        I’m glad the appointment went okay – it’s reassuring she thinks everything is okay, and has affirmed the decision to avoid the radiation oncologist; will you be booking in for a mammogram next?xx

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      2. Yes, Caz but I need to go when my body feels more settled. I had a terrible conflict with someone this week and it really put me back in suicidal depression for a while. I will go in a few weeks when I feel more stable.

        I hope you manage some calm time. Anxiety is not easy. I am focusing much more on my breathing these days and self calming. It does help.

        Hugs to you. xoox

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