Killer
You haunted me down a long corridor of years
Turning every pleasure into pain
Telling me I have no right to enjoy
This life that I am living
Cutting me off from light and joy and hope
Convincing me for years that dope
Was the only way to get high
What a fucking lie
Your poisonous utterances
Were always designed to extinguish
Any kind of life or fire
That burned inside me
Tying me in lots of knots of confusion
Deep inside my mind
Making me look behind every closed door
For thieves
Sending your waves of misery
Cutting off potentials and relationships
Tender fragile
Struggling to grow
You operate through F.O.G.
Fear is what stops me
Arresting my heart
Tearing my insides apart
Obligation is what ties me down
Guilt is the poison I drank with mother’s milk
From the fountain of a youth
Squeezed into hollowness by religious edicts that lied
Killer
Oh now I know you so well
Hidden in all of your various disguises
How I long to be free of you
No one ever really knew the blood you made me shed
For all these years
Draining away my vital life force
Leaving me drowning in dread
My heart weighted down like lead
All for nothing
All in vain!
Oh how I relate to this Deborah. So very very well. A brilliant puece of writing. ❤️❤️❤️
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Thank you Lorraine. I am noticing i try to put my self to death a lot maybe its that lingering imapct of feeling erased growing up we can unternalise .thats what my therapist seems to think. I really appreciate your feedback/opinion.
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