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This wound

Cry

Deep inside this wound I am small I am powerless

Nothing I do can make any difference Nothing I do has any effect

Nothing I do makes people see or know the real me

Inside this wound I am invisible.

People tell me how I am or how I look to them But when they do my chest and gut and heart clenches

As I feel my anger grow  I know its all about them I know its all projection

 

Inside this wound as it becomes larger There is just a seething gnawing pit of rage

The rage hurts So I feed it things trying to stop the pain and rage

But all that I do only makes the wound grow worse

So that now the wound is not just inside me

The wound has instead become the whole of me

And its hungry for blood

And it never sleeps

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Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

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6 thoughts on “This wound”

  1. Find what keeps it aflame, ask of it your truth. See what feelings are aroused from that anger and stare it in the eyes and ask that fearful question…why? And in the hurt and pain that it willingly throws in your face…listen…do not react to its vile attempts at drawing the lie that it built around you…just listen to what your heart is saying in the silence…how does it really make you feel inside, that rejection and hurt by the very people you wanted, no needed to love you…but were never there, leaving that imprint of not good enough or unwanted. In there is the answer, to ‘see’ that in fact their actions were actually built on how they were treated by those they loved and looked up to, and were now only doing what they were taught, knowing no better. But that is their journey, your journey is to ‘see’ this and understand, for in that understanding is your freedom and a love like no other. It is in realising that what they taught you was a lie, based on knowing no better. Now see the lie for what it is. You are beautiful exactly as you are, you are a creator exactly as you are, you are a lover exactly as you are…you are perfect…exactly as you are. See the lie, break down those walls it holds you in, be just understanding of what all those years of upbringing are…a crucible for this very moment to realise after all that you have been through has now given you a gift. Yes it was a very hard journey, but because of it you will now feel the one thing you have been missing all your life…that self love of understanding, that empathy in realising you have now broken through and can see that inner heart that never seemed to be there. And in its warmth will come two things…that ever elusive happiness we always seek, and an incredible love that nothing before will touch…simply because it will now come from you, no longer shadowed by those walls we thought were only protecting us, but were in fact those things we believed from those lies, and blocking our hearts ❤

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  2. That is truly beautiful and heart rendering Mark. Im heading to the library soon and I am going to print this out. This post was just an attempt to externalise some of the pain a recent event has stirred up in me. I deeply appreciate your wisdom and support, especially today. 💖💖💖

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