A warm stone

This morning Mum

I felt and  heard you crying so deeply within my belly

Saying these words

Mother please don’t leave me alone

I thought of how you put yourself to bed

With only a stone

From the fire wrapped in a blanket

To keep you warm

On those lonely nights

And my heart broke for you

So completely

And for all of us

Who still carry the genetic memory of that stone

Deep inside

Grown so cold

And now as I cry too

These tears that are not only my own

Trigger within

Realisations of where

All of this pain comes from

So many times I turned away

Not understanding how it was all repeating

So with this new day

Instead I turn towards it

As I feel the echoes

Travelling along corridors

Maybe

Just maybe

If I get angry enough

After all the tears

Finally I can lay it all to rest

I will never be able to look back and heal

What you and my father suffered

And struggled so hard to break free of

In the end

It tore us all apart

But for some deeper purpose

And maybe now

With all of these realisations

I can make a change

And stop all this crying

Take the risk

To reach for a life

Where there is more comfort

And companionship

Than that offerd by a warm stone

That too soon

Grows cold