Missing my bubba (nature is perfect)

I am in mental health rehab at the moment and while here have not been able to write for about 9 weeks now. I am doing a lot of art though just cannot share here any of my images due to lack of technical expertise, due to the fact that my phone will not upload them to.Wordpress. Today my art focused on freedom and maple leaves after a long and deeply meaningful conversation with my sister about her own mental health challenges. Compared to 3 months ago we now seem to be speaking a similar language. She agrees about the distance in our family but shared too about how some torn emotional threads are being taken up and reconnected within her own two children’s lives to cousins from.her husbands side. Her short term memory of events and connections around the time of her Electro Convulsive Therapy since around 2015 is still absent so at times I act as her memory for those outings and events, which also encompassed the death of our older sister, Judith.

However what called me to write tonight was a late night conversation with a fellow resident in rehab, Ben, who was suffering sleeplessness. We were musing on the power and beauty of nature at the same time as sharing issues of our struggles in relation with other humans, “if nothing is perfect” said Ben “then what is to be made of the beauty of the luminescent night sky, is that not perfect?” I had to agree which called to mind a quote with words to the effect “nature does not make mistakes.” Therefore every single human being is a piece of nature, valuable and priceless, even as our mind sadly become prone to make of it all an aberration riven with myriad anxieties.

Today was a high anxiety day. My dog Jasper is in boarding Kennels after being diagnosed with several serious health issues, including pancreatitis, diabetic ketone acidosis and a heart murmur and my own heart strings were being constantly pulled in his direction. Another resident here would gladly have taken me to see him today but that was not allowed, sadly and I couldn’t break the rules, even if my new friend Darren was willing to do so. At this stage I long to be back home and available to give him food food as well as the twice daily needed injections of insulin along with regular exercise and I am constantly reminded of how much I had to be grateful for before this recent 9 week hospitalisation.

I miss my bubba so much, I miss the touch of his soft fur with waves of white and black so.like a soothing ocean of yum. I miss his soulful.brown eyes that stare dreamily at me as he rests on his bed and I miss his crazy ‘ so pleased to see you dance ‘ so often on show when male visitors call. My dog to.me is perfect a perfect natural being and lately the gift of his presence is so often on my mind and in my heart.

I must try to rest now. Its 10.30 pm.and I’ve been awake since 5 am. In the rehab they like to have us medicated into sleep by 9 pm but tonight I had to chart my own course but my eyes are all blurry right now. I miss my WordPress family after weeks away from.yhe blogsphere. So adieu lovely WP family you are in my heaet and soul today. Please pray for me and Jasper to soon be reunited. 🦋❤️🕊🌹🌈🌼