Many of us stay in a prison of victimhood because, subconsciously it feels safer. We ask “Why?” over and over, believing that if we could just figure out the reason, the pain would lessen. Why did I get cancer? Why did I lose my job? Why did my partner have an affair? We search for answers, for understanding, as if there’s a logical reason to explain why things happened the way they did. But when we ask why, we’re stuck searching for someone or something to blame – including ourselves.
Why did this happen to me?
Well why not you?
Maybe I went to Auschwitz and survived so that I could talk to you now, so I could live as an example of how to be a survivor instead of a victim. When I ask “What now?” instead of “Why me?” I stop focusing on why this bad thing happened – or is happening- and start paying attention to what I can do with my experience. I’m not looking for a saviour or a scapegoat. Instead, I begin to look at choices and possibilities.
Victimhood is rigour mortis of the mind. It’s stuck in the past, stuck in the pain, and stuck on the losses and deficits : what I can’t do and what I don’t have.
Edith Eger
The Gift : 12 Lessons to Save Your Life.
Emerging From The Dark Night 
The other thing I discovered about victimhood, was that while I was stuck there, I inadvertently became an abuser.
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Yes the two seem to go together, I can really relate.
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Getting out of victimhood is hard and renumeration over it is even harder to stop, but with determination, it can be done. It has taken me a couple of years, but I got there! It takes time to change your thinking and see things differently.
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I really admire ypur progress. I .still very much a work in progress. It takes clarity which can be a long time coming.
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I still struggle with my thought processes but I have adjusted to it. I am retired so can take my time. You will get there, I have no doubt. I believe in you!
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Thank you sweet ❤️
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