Depressive thoughts it seems want to rip our souls to shreds at times. It’s so sad to read of beautiful souls who struggle ending their life, but life here on earth can sadly be stony, the less we experience of love, the less we can hold to the fundamental goodness with in us.
There was a beautiful piece of writing I shared with my sister who struggles with depression earlier today, it was from Buddhismt teacher Pema Chodron, it spoke about us being aware of not feeding thoughts of our unworthiness, it reminded me its up to me to be the guardian of my soul and most especially when it comes to my thinking and aelf judgements.
Also I don’t have to raise myself up by putting someone else down. Unloving people will challenge me here, they may make me feel I have to lash out, but that won’t serve truth or peace within me, it may show I’m still in some way attached to their approval or doubt my own worth. Being taken down by someone else’s ignorance or nastiness is a waste of my energy, at the same time it’s okay to grapple, feel the genuine anger but not fuel it with even more thoughts of revenge, resentment or unkindness that just ends up affecting me.
I try to encourage my sister to fight. To see her worth and value, sadly I see her so ground down and unnurtured, but I also recognise how I too, so often fail to lovingly nurture myself. Emotional hunger unmet by our own soul often leaves us vulnerable in a deep way. We then surrender our soul due to self negation or devaluation. We sadly learn to turn against ourselves and become persecutors and attackers of ourselves.
Seeing ever more clearly lately how I have done this has not been easy but the pain over regrets CAN BE USED TO FUEL POSITIVE CHANGE, self abandonment may take time to turn around but it is important we learn ways to honor the good within us, accepting also the, at times, painful limitations we had to face in the challenge of learning how to love and raise our vibration. Even allowing with tenderness and kindness the struggle we have on darker days soothes us, not expecting ourselves always to be ‘on top’ of things, recifnisingcwe will never really ‘get it all together’ embracing all we find in tenderness and compassion.
Emerging From The Dark Night 
Sometimes, we feel better, if we, push others so we can, rise up, higher than they are, without knowing, that, we’d, stooped, lower than, where we were, to begin with…people do this, so they can, feel better about themselves, and, these sorts of, “I’m wat better than you”, never, lasts.
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So true because it’s based on shame which is an illusion.
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