Your storm

Your storm consumed me

Lost as I was in the wilderness

All I knew in my early life

Was loneliness

And an intensity

I did not understand

I was that little cork

Bobbing around in a wild sea

And as all known landmarks disappeared

So it was I drowned

Lacking your attention and comfort

Where else could I turn

But to substances

And as cold as I felt inwardly

Sometimes that medicine I sought

Felt so warm

Like the missing hug of a mother I longed for

Like the gentle touch and comfort

Of a warm human hand

I longed to hold

Oh how I have wept

Each time they demanded more for me to meet you

Oh how much I was sometimes

Blown entirely adrift by the fevered frenzy

Of that inner storm

Still I am trying so hard to meet you

And a wiser part of me looks on

At my child’s frenzy but still remains

Paralysed

This is the drama of my life

Like a repetition compulsion

Playing over and over

But somewhere too on the other side of this world

You too, weep and long

For calmer seas