Your body

I longed for a home

Inside your body

A young one longs for this

Loving arms wrapped around them

Keeping us safe from demons of harm

Was it your fault you turned away

That I fell so deeply into solitude and dismay?

These later days

I have the sense I am

Awakening from a dream

Seeking the in between place

Where the love of your spirit soothes me

With understandings that

Never the less still bring me g

Great pain

And sometimes when I reach

I fall again

Or relate

Only to become consumed

By another’s shadow

I cannot lie

It frightens me at times

The suspicion

Mistrust and doubt I feel

While all of the time underneath

My restless heart reverberates

With frenzied horse’s hoof beats

Marking time to the rhythm of a song of longing

Love’s true embrace will I ever know you

Outside of my own soul?

Can I trust you

Can I trust myself?

Then when I stop and listen to my heart

Your longing resonates with mine

As I feel the call not only of your

Body but of your soul

And this is when I recall the abject wilderness

I found

And how much fear of embracing life fully

Haunted me

So how can I blame anyone else?

But never the less

Sometimes love and compassion surprise me

As the brace around my heart

In loosening its grip

Drops me into a heaving ocean

Within which I swim in tune with the ancestral tides

Knowing them consciously in my body

For perhaps the first time

And then I realise you had no home either

Just this restless inner fever that burned inside

From all of the intensity that your body knew

But you could never give an articulate voice to

I hear it all

I feel it all

I want you to know

I really really do

But so often this knowing

Sets me so very apart

From acceptance by the human earthly family

I long for