Fill your loneliness with soul connections to things that bring you joy

Looking around outside of yourself for happiness is bound to fail and even though it can be so healing to help others, we have to make sure our cup is full to give from first.. this is something I did not do for most of the past 10 years and as I look back I only see now the high cost and toll it took on my health.

For much of my life, due to my own unrealized issues, I believe in some way I sought that missing ‘something’ out there in the world, but the truth that I have discovered lately is that it is only when we know ourselves that we can find true happiness and intuitively recognize those activities and energies or pastimes that speak to and fill our soul up.

I listened to a talk by Eckhart Tolle earlier today on abundance.. In it he spoke of the abundance just naturally present in life and nature, that really resonated as true, after Covid hit I discovered how important to my soul nature was, and that it was in staying close to nature and discovering my true nature as a sensitive rather than being at odds with it that I could build inner joy and happiness.

I can get a thrill by looking at the texture of a tree or the way it has grown partly due to its environment in terms of available nutrients and sun but also due to its unique design.. The older a tree is, too, the more interesting it becomes in some ways, especially those old giants that grace our parks and lane ways in the place I live. Many have had limbs taken off, some are covered over with beautiful patterning and landscapes of moss and bark pieces and the other day I thought of how in the place my Mum used to roam around so lonely as an older child, how some of the old trees would have witnessed that. I am very fond of this particular lane way near to the village shops where my Mum took refuge on those lonely afternoons after school when no one was home. Even as that reminds me of the lonely place my own childhood took me too at times I am also beginning to value that solitary journey in a deeper way.. Feeling set apart from my family and the collective had a lot going for it really, it was not all bad, it made me an observer and contemplative and a deep thinker, come to think of it I am sure my Dad was like this, there was so much that he seemed to keep hidden from us.

Anyway despite also reaching out for more company lately I am also finding deeper solace in the solitary times doing those things that bring me joy.. I am no longer needing that other person to ‘complete’ me. When i think of the cost of my own unresolved childhood wounds that they led me to be so desperate for connection I sacrificed a lot it makes me sad but the truth is, and I am with Eckhart on this, I do not have to finance ‘poor me’ narratives about my life or past. There is a gift in the tough things that happen to us, they seem to my mind to build deep inside many of us a natural resilience and thoughtfulness that not having such painful things happen to us does not..

When I think of beautiful poetry and music so much comes from those people who lived close to their soul and honored the path of deep sensitivity and feeling.. It seems too that those who overvalued how the world saw them and put their energy into that often came up short or failed to grow into their own hidden power.

In the end it is my soul that nurtures me. I do not have to burn myself out rushing around out there so intensely looking for something that just naturally rises up from deep within me when I stay close to and nurture my own soul through things like meditation, visualization, staying close to and connected to my dog and nature, and by fostering a spiritual connection with my higher power.

On that note I wanted to share a violet flame meditation I found online this week that helps me a lot to connect to my higher self.. I find it sets me into a peaceful sleep and makes real changes to my body and state of relaxation as I listen to it. It may not feed others but I like to share what helps, that is part of the joy in finding helpful things that raise my energy and help me to feel more joy, energy, vibrancy and peace.