I longed for you to see me
But now I turn away from those in need
Or else become so embedded in the ‘saving’
That I lose myself
Do not tell me there is no reason
For all of these tears I cry
Do not try to say my body does not still hurt
From those early years of violation
I could never get you to see me
So was it any wonder I became
Lost
Fractured
Dis-oriented
An enigma to myself?
Was it any wonder when love came
I was always trying to find a way
To run so far away?
But now as I run
Slowly I turn to catch
A fleeting glimpse
Of my tear stained face
Reflected deep inside the mirror
Of your loving eyes that long for me
Then suddenly my soul
Awakens
Wrestling
Within the deluge of the waterfall that threatens
To drown my mind
And as I kneel to embrace you
And feel the softness you radiate
A realer part of me
Is waking up
From the longest numbest sleep
And so I pray
In time I find redemption
Drowning deep inside
All of this heart ache and longing
I buried.
Emerging From The Dark Night 
Such heartfelt words, I’m sure, that all of us can relate to them.
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Thank you so so much for those kind words ❤
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Very relatable. Well written. The pain is real. Processing it is hard work. Praying you’ll be strengthened as you heal.
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its deep work this processing. .At times it feels like dying I am getting more insight into how fearful closeness is for those of us with so much early invalidation of our inner world.. Your comment encourages me and thank you for your prayers.. .dear friend.. ❤
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Your writing is beautiful. I may use it for personal reasons; don’t worry, I will quote your name! Thumbs up!
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No worries I am so happy to be shared even if you do not credit me, if it touches someone and helps who cares really?
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Deeply stirring and beautifully expressed. ❤❤
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Thank you so very much… comes out of a lot of emotional inner work
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♥️💗♥️
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