ancestral heartbeat

In the silence

I heard my own heart beating

I recognised the fear and flight and fight

That rose up like a drowning ocean

And heard deep with the suffering

The sheer will not only to survive

But also

To stay alive

That drove you

So often overwhelmed

You could not tell of it

Did your dead spirit weep

Hoping for us to understand?

Please know you live on in me

As over all of these difficult mid life years

I integrated your painful lessons

Sending my self

Or being sent out alone

Living out part of your exile

Please know it mattered

Still matters to me

But my darling we your surviving ancestors

Long to be free

Open the ears of the deaf

The eyes of the blind

Thaw the frozen hearts of those who

Criticize, shame blame

And are so unkind

And remember this without a doubt

As long as my heart beats

And I connect to it in silence

Your love is with me

And lives inside of me

Like a deep eternal spring

Whose original healing source

I will never again

Deny

For this powerful force of loving

So longs to live

And so it will

Continuing to surge and pulse

Like an endless river

Of connection

Flowing through our hearts

Endlessly

Stream to stream

My precious dear