Oh dear! How deeply rooted can fears and feelings of low or anxious self value be. I am meeting someone for a coffee today I connected with online and I have to admit suddenly I am seeing all of my imperfections. Hair shrinking and turning a trifle grey and a little frazzled in places and at differing lengths around the back due to both Covid lockdown and fear of my head being messed with after this head trauma. I nearly wanted to pull the pin on lunch but instead I sat in the sun with Jasper by my side and really tapped into the negative voices then the deep sadness over past rejections which have been many.
And where is my love for myself in hoping I’ll be seen as good enough and only for what is on the outside, not my many inner qualities? It’s just the same old same old pattern. What about me thinking if this person is someone kind with good qualities I can connect to?
My anxious attachment is about and sometimes it makes me avoid too, due to fear. I do not want that for my life anymore. However I just need to remember it is good to be noticing all of this as the Venus retrograde will stir up our individual Venus challenges. This is about learning more about myself and how I react, that I do have the power of choice and perhaps coming to understand why my fears of rejection cut so very deep they often lead me to give myself away or block positive things manifesting.
Emerging From The Dark Night 
Noticing these behavioral tendencies is the first step, and now, you can, start, to change your self for the better.
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