It didn’t happen to me but I’m still feeling it

I woke with my body incredibly pulled around this morning only to see a text from my dear friend Sue saying her brother passed peacefully at 6.48 am. My energy body calmed after this but I felt both fear and sadness. Fear because he’d been sober a long time too and was always so kind and then thinking of my own sister in hospital still, sadness for my friend that she has to handle the loss without family as he was her only sibling, both parents are dead and neither of them have children.

I also felt helpless and quite over come emotionally but was reminding myself this is happening to my friend and not to me. What could I do to be of support? What might she need? All I thought to do was offer to make her a meal or in any other way I can but today breathing was a bit hard and digesting food explosive. I went out in the sun to stretch and uncoil since this all.impacts me very energetically as a sensitive with my own sibling grief, issues and loss. My older sister who passed in 2014 was strongly on my mind this week.

Also not much later after I tried to Sue did my lovely niece in law get in touch via text. Laura recommended Lorna Byrne’s angel book to me after Judy died and it along with the writings of Anita Moorjhani who died and then came back to life helped me understand so much more about my sister’s life and death from an energy perspective.

Scott was lovely to me too..really sad about it and worried but this is happening to my friend and not to me. Nevertheless it can stir up my own grief.

Facing death is important. Another old friend called out of the blue last night shes close to Sue too. They were the good friends I left behind and Dad would not let me join back at college in 1982. She said sadly Sue and her brother had not had time to discuss anything about funeral arrangements. In the after marth of death there can be so much to organise.

Today I made sure I got to the park and onto the earth. Nature holds me, it witnesses me, it reminds me we are all part of a life death rebirth cycle. No one gets out of here alive and yet I am a firm believer our spirit lives on. For my friend I feel all of the love in the world. Sadly I never got to meet Michael who only revealed details of his own bullying abuse after becoming ill. We bear a lot in silence in childhood and Sadly a lot if it remains locked up in our gut and body. Like for my Dad Michael’s cancer hit him in his tummy. I know how much my own tummy holds of past trauma.

I thank God for the gift of life today but just staying sober is not enough, it’s only the start. Attachment wounds and parental trauma carried epigenetically also plays a part. So much my friends father went through in eastern Europe he never spoke of and Sue’s Mum had her own trauma. Apparently he also swore his second wife to silence.

My prayer today to anyone suffering the pain of losing loved ones, bur let’s do all we can to find ways to acknowledge what we carry inside of us. Our bodies need us to listen in deeply..as deeply as we possibly can.