To be in the world but not of the world

Is there a way to be in this world while remembering our souls come from afar and have depths and truths barely visible to others that must, for our own solace be accepted and plumbed even as everything in society may try to shame, silence or reduce us?

Holding back from trying to connect is new for me, I wrestle with it most mornings, I got woken too deep in the night as my bedroom door blew open with a rush of energy out of proportion to the wind, I feel angels or other spiritual forces so active at night, and deep in my soul, no matter what the stoics say I do believe in another world and that death is not the end, just a change of form.

I am seeing the events of the past 3 and a half years with more distance and clarity now, I’m shocked at times by where my longing to connect took me, but why? Am I not human and also animal, spirit and soul and matter too and doesn’t that thirst for an embodied intimate relationship just speak of not only that humanness but what I did not get in childhood the wound if which especially opened up after Mum died three years after my beloved older sister?

Despite this there are gifts in my solitary life, even if, at times, I feel unborn on some level, I hold close to my child but love the older wiser part, sometimes that part of me is like a loving mother, she can hold me more and won’t let me be as ravaged by the inner critic or negative animus as I was in the past, she won’t let the wounded child act out as much but she won’t deny her wounds either.

If only we could do this for others, if only we could allow them a shadow, understand perfection is not a human ideal that leads us anywhere healthy, if only we could try to see with our hearts and not just our minds, with our souls into the soul of the other who is not just father, mother, sister, brother, friend or lover! What a different world.

And what if we took this approach to Covid, saw how lockdown may put us more in touch with nature, in closing down business and materialism may be waking us up on another level to ignored or taken for granted present blessings we got too busy to appreciate?

I heard today in a program on birds that lockdown is making some people more aware of the surrounding bird life. In fact yesterday morning while gardening and meditating outside I heard two different birds calling and responding is resplendent song…magic!!!

Today I’ll stay close to my soul. I’ll concentrate not on the multiple seeming disconnections but upon where I feel attuned and connected and I’ll send love to those I feel unable to contact right now. Perhaps sometimes distance maybe deeply necessary for us to open up to and perceive a different kind of contact or inward inter-connection. It may make us dig even deeper to find the ways and wherefores of the missing love ❤