the peaceful time : late afternoon reflections

I’ve had a good think about the issue of saying my ‘piece’ over last days, there is a real feeling of just wanting to be kind lately and let go of a lot.. All the worrying I did over my sister, it did not help to change one single thing and having to have my say over certain concerns may have made matters tougher for someone who was already struggling with the issue anyway.

I had bit of a brief dip into my Al Anon Hope For Today reader while doing a quick clean up in my bedroom a little while ago and it was good to read a reading on co-operation and how adult children often feel they either cannot have a say or alternatively feel they have to be the one in charge or to take control of things.. Often then, they then forget to reach out and involve others or they end up going it alone as a natural pattern. Personally, knowing how that often manifests it does not always end up in the best place if a chance at being open and co-operative could have resulted in a better outcome.. Not that we know that though, until the outcome manifests.

Feel pretty serene this afternoon despite the fact the government announced me are up for 4 more weeks of lockdown here.. if i start to bitch or look for the negatives it wont end in a good place. Simon and I agreed when he dropped off Jasper after his walk today that people being forced to stay home at present means dogs are not being left alone as much and by the look of the local neighborhoods I drive through more dogs seem to be being walked most days than i ever noticed before.

For me I am choosing to look at this next month period in terms of good things I can do to pass the time. .. I am choosing not to worry over those things I can’t change anyway and I am getting to the point of leaving the family history behind me.. it is so peaceful this afternoon just to enjoy the quiet, dusk is my favorite time of day anyway, it is such a winding down, mellow and still time and I love the way the lowering sun disperses its light at this time of day.. it always takes me into a calm, dreamy, magical place…

Me being me I like to get some words down and out of me at this time of day as Jasper and I slowly wind down.. i also keep thinking of that saying a lot lately or is it a question… “would you rather be ‘right’ or happy?’ Admitting I can get things wrong at times frees me up. Letting others do things their way and live with their own consequences, that brings peace.. As a good AA friend of mine says to me often “as long as i take care of my own side of the street’ things will be okay..