Holding myself through an abandonment trigger

I find it challenging when people do not honor their commitments, when they say they will contact you and meet up and fail to and I am not going to deny when it hits that hook and sore spot in me it really hurts.. So today I did the best I could to just be with the younger part of me that felt so distressed by it.. There were a lot of tears and the level of grief and pain felt almost unbearable at the time.. This makes me realize the old wounds we carry never really go away.. in AA we say that we only get a daily reprieve from the pain or lure of addiction to escape it based on the maintenance of a spiritual way of living.. I guess for me that means trying to make the effort to link to a force of love inside of me when the pain arks up and to soothe and hear the distressed young part.. This would make ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE TO SOMEONE WITH SECURE ATTACHMENT.. the trauma storm that can come up for us with high level abandonment can be enormous and people may not understand that on an inner energy level IT FEELS ENTIRELY LIFE THREATENING.. that is because as children we WERE TOTALLY DEPENDENT UPON CAREGIVERS MEETING OUR ORIGINAL NEEDS. I recognised too today in the middle of it I was having a trauma flashback. I had to engage step 2 of the process today reminding myself I actually was safe in the moment. (see below)

As adults we have to find ways to be there.. for me I did not reach for something to eat or soothe it today.. I just did some of the hand on body connecting in that Mark Wolynn advises and told myself she is not alone, it seemed to work I cried a bit but the feelings did pass, it was a little too hard to breathe for a time.. but I managed to do it.