Breaks my heart (sibling grief)

Talking to you sometimes breaks my heart

It makes me feel so far apart

All the ways I tried

To make you see and love me

All the ways I hoped you may see deeper into my soul

Was it every your job?

I do not know

All I know is that perhaps all of this sibling grief

At times is not just ours

Maybe is stretches ages back

And maybe it is why our Mum

Did not know

How to be with us

And to really love us as we needed to be loved

As girl children

All I know is that when I needed you

You could not let me be me

And then you tried to say you didn’t want me

Anywhere near your families house

But it was our house that our father built

For all of us

And at that point

I had no other family

Why did you not accept me as a part

Of your family?

How could you have been so cruel to me?

I was your baby sister

All I wanted was for you to

See

Embrace

And truly love me

But you just never seem to

Will it always be up to me?

(maybe my soul never really belonged

in this earthly family)