love?

There was love beating somewhere

Underneath all of the anger, irritability and impatience

But then the prophet says

True love is patient and kind

Did you love me

Did you see me at all?

Is this why sometimes (and for so so long)

I kept looking for my reflection

In other people’s eyes

And then when they turned away unseeing

Felt invisible?

Now when I am with her

I think of all you could not give

And how empty it made her

Sometimes it seems she has

Lost completely

The capacity to love and know herself

And yet sometimes lately she surprises me

With the words

I love you

Never the less I am still finding loving what is difficult to love

A challenge

Why keep trying?

Did I make myself wrong?

Erase myself to belong?

Life can be confusing

And sometimes its only deep inside the meaning of a song

I find that buried love and longing welling up

Showing me the truth

Of how tightly my heart had to close

And of the great distance I had to travel

To take refuge in my head

Leaving my aching heart

Abandoned

By the wayside

But now

As it breaks open

Over and over again

All of this love just comes pouring out

And as you rain down your love upon me

Suddenly I become that tight bud

Unfurling its wildly coloured petals

To the sunlight

Lately you seem to offer me

All I lost the way to

Hard as my suspicious mind found it

To believe

And all along it was you who kept encouraging me

To trust in love

To hope again

In the possibility of happiness

To open up

My heart

To love