The key

I looked everywhere for the key

Forgetting what is was to turn the search within

I thought that the words you said

Would make me believe in me

But the truth was

That until I could love myself

I did not truly have anything real to give

But a hungry heart

I see now how I degraded myself

Begging for you to love me

And every time you abused me

Somewhere secretly I believed it was my fault

Even though it made my heart and fragile body

Tear almost completely apart

I took it all in

I swallowed it down

While secretly choking

But now I see I could never have found my freedom

With someone who did not love all of me

And that in begging to be seen

I only became more invisible

To myself

But my feelings never lied

So many tears

So many tears

So many screams

But really my heart

I should be grateful for each one

For all along it was my own tenderness I longed for

It was my own self acceptance I craved

It was my own love and approval

I most needed