Sigh of relief

With a deep sigh of relief

I realize it is okay to be me

After years and years of trying to twist myself

Into another shape

One that will please you

I am sick to death of being a pretzel

Never granted permission

To know how it is I truly feel

Deep inside my own heart

I cannot take what is happening between you and me

Lately

I just want to be free

Of yearning

Of wishing

Of hoping

And wanting anything at all

Outside of my own soul

There was a time I thought I had to apologise

For getting upset

But I know this is just what happens

When someone does not respect

Our boundaries

Often out of selfishness and greed

Or unresolved need

That has nothing to do with me

And for so long I lived in this fog

Fear

Obligation

Guilt

Made me a prisoner

Tied me up in knots

But no more

I have to trust ,my heart

What other path is there to follow

For only God knows

I will never have a hope in hell

Of finding a brighter tomorrow

If I do not begin to start

Taking my real wants and true needs

Seriously