Lessons to my younger self

There are people around you who are so disconnected from you they will not..cannot ever truly see you. It will take you many years of suffering, of replaying that old pattern over and over, hoping to be seen by the unavailable to learn this pain was never entirely about you.

Learn first of all to love and trust your inner self. There is a source of wisdom in you that the weeds overgrew, you long for this source in all your wilderness wandering and until you find it all other paths and ways of being will feel hollow and only lead to dead ends. Trust that if things feel dead its a sign to move on.

Don’t keep trying to rearrange yourself you are not broken or defective and if you need a lot this may not only be about you the overwhelming nature of it may be ancestral. Talk to the ancestors they need you to hear their pain so you can release a burden that was never yours to carry. Vow to.live a happy life honouring YOUR true needs not old wounds.

Keep burning bright even when others try to tell you your fire is dangerous. That fire may be the only thing that keeps you alive on those empty nights in the wilderness.

Be strong even when others tell you strength is resistance to hollow ‘truths’ the unenlightened told you were gospel. The salvation of your soul may depend upon it.