i’m angry and hurting like hell today.. I got so angry I slammed the over door shut at lunch time due to pressure a neighbor was putting on me and more troubles with Scott that it shattered into a thousand pieces and I ended up cutting myself.. I just could not handle the anger I was feeling and then I got a terrible shock when the glass just shattered.. It could have been worse and no one got hurt luckily but I am SO OVER HELPING ONLY TO BE HURT.
I wake at 7 am with more new about killing and terror.. I never signed up for this.. I have been helping this guy for 3 years now but its never enough. He accused me today of only caring about money after I asked for it back, he makes me feel so diminished and talks of suicide of other soldiers as if its a manipulation tactic.. I have had my own suicidal thoughts, I had them for years but I never acted on them.. I am angry that I am carrying the can for this and he treats me as if I am mercinary for asking my money back.. I have been so kind in my life and it seems to me the kinder I am the more people ask of me.. I am at breaking point with it.. I do not need to be with someone so bad that I will be abused in this way any more.. I want to walk away… if he dies in Iraq it is on his choices not down to me.. but because I am kind he uses that the accuses me of being unfeeling saying just to forget about him… I cannot shut that down but its time for self preservation, I hate to say it but I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!
Emerging From The Dark Night 
Deborah I hear your pain. It is often this way sadly. That themkindest most loving and beautiful peoplenget sbused. My heart is with you.
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Thank you Lorraine that means a lot to me.. to be accused of inly caring about money that cuts me. Sending lots of love your way. ❤
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It is good to be kind and caring. It is also good to know: Enough is Enough
Love and blessings. May God guide you to make right choices.
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Thank you Ashok I so appreciate your ongoing support and kindness.
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My pleasure Deb 🤗
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❤🌹
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Be true to yourself my friend. If it costs you your peace, the price is too high. Hug & love
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I will Krista it is costing me too much.. thank you ❤
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That’s really unfortunate. But take care. Let God be with you. Stay blessed!
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I will he isn’t talking to me right now but I know I’ve only been honest and to be frank I am tired at the lack of empathy.
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I hope you come out of all this better, stronger and healed❤❤❤…
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Thank you. I am sure it’s all happening for that reason. Have a beautiful day. 🌹
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