My purpose

I’ve been thinking alot about being highly sensitive in this current world and also of what my reason for being alive and going through all that I have has been. I do feel it’s to write and teach..to be a light in what often seems a dark cold hard world. And to provide an example that light and life and love can be born from trauma and dark passages.

Yesterday was punishing. The military will not fly Scott out unless they have landing fees for the plane and since I have no more money this is the end now. If my money is returned next week it will be the end of any doubt but it is cold comfort as Scott will be flying out for two more years in Iraq soon and he’s not happy about it. But tough as all this is and as much as I’ve cried and cried it seems God’s will is not for us to be together in earthly bodies yet, if ever.

I prayed a lot to the angels to wipe away my tears and accept the reality. Had only 4 hours sleep last night. I also went to visit my sister and her son turned up and it was interestimg to watch the dynamic between them. I amlearning all the time…looking for the good. But its obvious to me the older son is highly sensitive and is a different fit in the family. He has been doing things I used to do..like losing his school jumper and disliking hard physical activity. They laugh about it but I wish sensitivity was more understood..More respected..more protected than it is.

If I have a purpose at the moment maybe its my blog that is at the centre of it..but I’d like to be doing more. Sometimes praying about this is helpful, opportunities may then be presented. Its obviously not God’s will I be with a life partner right now and to be honest the money pressure was hurting me so much. Scott was going on and on about carrying his own cross but he was shitting me when he said last night ” no one cares about me!” After all the help….oh well that’s people!! I know it can feel like that at times. I feel it in my family but love and care is there if we take up the cross of unselfishness, seek love from Source and surrender the ‘what’s in it for me?’ mentality so prevalent in thus world right now. We have more than enough resources to share but we are also over populating the planet and burdening it with greed and damaging through predator and narcissistic demands. It’s up to us empaths to speak up and help people look for worthiness within as well as find ways to.live in peace, close to nature..feeling strong, centered and filled up from within. Also to create beauty and blessings where and when we can.