I know in my blogs I often speak about forgiveness. I just wanted to clarify that I am not ever advocating everyone forgive and even in my own life I can see there may have been times giving the benefit of the doubt to an abuser or person who really didn’t give a shit about me was a mistake and bad for my health.
I often talk over this issue of anger and forgiveness in therapy with Kat and she always reminds me anger is not a toxic thing at all, it helps us to know what hurts or violates us.. Being raised a Catholic we did get a lot of damaging teachings about anger and even in AA I have found myself being told anger was a sin by older sober members.
Over time I have found ways to try to let go of the hurt my parents caused.. I have truly felt their spirits are sorry, but this could all be my imagination, that said it is my experience and process and in no way one I say others should experience or even believe in.. I am posting this in response to a recent comment by someone who at this point cannot forgive her parents and that is right for her where she is right now… In doing some further reading I came across the following article.
I do not have a disclaimer on my main blog page but all I share here is just about my journey… I am not a professional I have just been in therapy and recovery for a number of years.. I forgive to find peace but that does not mean its the right way for others.. We each have to find our own path through any hurt we suffered as children and find the way that helps us.. If that is not to forgive its totally understandable.
Emerging From The Dark Night 
I had to pray for help to let me forgive. Not sure I would have ever succeeded by myself. And when I did it lifted a little weight off my shoulders.
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It truly does, doesn’t it. the other way is too poisonous..
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I think forgiving too soon can definitely interfere with the healing process. We need to be aware of all the different wounds and losses – and work through them individually – otherwise we end up suppressing things … and that always comes back to haunt us later 😦
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yes, I do think though forgiveness can come after we go deep enough and see into to true underlying causes but that requires a lot of searching and wisdom…
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