Thank God for therapy… I am so lucky to have a therapist who is so so present, good, real and true.. Kat has never left me waiting for an appointment one single time.. She is always there on time holding the door open, on the days I cannot make it she calls me and we have our session on the phone.. I cannot tell you the other times I have been so badly let down my inconsistent shitty therapists.. they are too numerous to mention.. That said there were good therapists I ran from too.
Today in therapy I shared the pain I felt over a fellow blogger I have come to love… this person went through so much at the hands of his mother.. I cried about it with Kat today, it is hard for a highly sensitive person to understand how a mother could hurt a child so savagely leave the child alone in distress.. that said I was hurt and left alone too by both my Mum and Dad but maybe not in as dark a place or with that level.of physical abuse my friend suffered..
Crying about it today made me realise the highest form of humanity is to feel for our brother or sister’s pain as our own. Feeling for them does not negate our helplessness though, over their healing process. but it means we keep the door of our heart open.. When it comes to narcissists it seems impossible for them to do this.. It seems so long ago they locked the door so securely on their own vulnerable child and then they tend to attract that in someone and then show then contempt.. Been on the receiving end of this far too many times to mention….
We get told all the time not to ‘take on others problems or pain’ but that does not mean we don’t have to feel it or are lesser than for doing so.. As humans we have mirror neurons that just mirror or resonate with what another soul is enduring.. when we shut this capacity down we do lose access to the full breadth and depth of our humanity.. That said we may not be able to help the person but we can always be what therapist and abuse writer Alice Miller calls an enlightened witness for someone… and we can only do this to the extent we have not shut the door on our own vulnerability and pain..
Emerging From The Dark Night 
You’re such a kind and sensitive soul, what a gift! Sending hugs x
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And to you, Jasmine
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You, my friend, are an empath, you absorb the pain of others, that is a beautiful thing! My son was like you, he cried over the suffering of others and tried to help wherever he could. He was called “sentimental Stevie” by his friends. He loved deeply and was often misunderstood. When he passed so many of his friends came to me and told me that he was their best friend and the only one who had time for them or understood them. I know he is sorely missed by so many. One friend told me that he was human the way we are meant to be. I hold onto these words with my life, knowing that his soul lives on and he has been freed from suffering. He is always with me and I hear his voice clearly still… Don’t ever change who you are, even though you have been deeply hurt, you have a great capacity for so much caring, it’s a beautiful thing!
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This comment gave me shivers Ally I sensed from the little you spoke about Stevie he was a like me. Sometimes I think it would be better to feel a little less but we are who we are…I try now to feel and not always absorb everything and sometimes it passes through. Thanks so much for getting it.
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Don’t change my friend, just give yourself time-outs when it gets too much and smell the roses and put your bare feet on the ground..
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Yes time out.. I do walk barefoot often with Jasper we need that grounding as empaths. and I take time in nature every day…i’d be lost without it..
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Me too. 🙂
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