Im feeling so angry and frustrated today about past things I can’t change. I went for another chiropractic treatment but its not helping me release cause its not working on my feelings . I fight my body so much. Saturday’s stuck in the old place Mum forced me into at auction I get the shits with everything..mostly that I LET THEM FORCE ME AND THEN CRIED INSTEAD OF FIGHTING NOT TO BE ENTRAPPED BUT SO MUCH WAS GOING DOWN AT THAT TIME..I CANT CHANGE THE PAST BUT I GET ONGOING ATTACKS WHEN I DO GARDENING OR CLEANING PLUS I HAD THE CHANCE TO GET OUT OF IT LAST YEAR AND LET MY SISTER TALK ME OUT OF IT…SHE WASNT WELL THEN AND ITS STIIL MY FAULT I COULD HAVE USED SOME HELP AND ENCOURAGEMENT.
I’m also not feeling like seeing family on my birthday..my sister wants us to go out for lunch or dinner…I have problems digesting food..another part doesn’t want to spend it all alone either.
I’m hard at work trying to see how I can take action to make things better today and am just using this to vocalise. Move? Just accept where I am and make what Improvements I can? I will pray for guidance. First I must acknowledge how I really feel..that is awareness. Second accept those feelings and even the difficult things. Third take action with these things in mind. I just have to keep reminding myself I am not totally powerless and listen as intently within as I can to what my frustration and anger may be trying to say.
Emerging From The Dark Night 
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I too have health problems due to my trauma. It sucks.
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Yes they never seem to abate but I am going to start taking steps to change things that bug me. Instead of just sucking up the pain..
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You were overpowered too weren’t you Lizzie? That’s what stays,stuck inside you unless people go through that they don’t fully understand.
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Yes I was overpowered. It does stay stuck inside you. And no people who haven’t gone through it don’t understand.
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Sending you so many hugs. It’s so tough.
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Thank you im just getting so sick of the body pain.
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It can be so painful to show up for our hurting selves. What an expression of love to do so like you are. It can be so confusing on what action to take too. But showing up, and trying to take care of ourselves, the effort alone, may be healing I think.
Sending you love ❤️
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Thanks so much for the love I’ve r decided to improve what I can here. I’ll try to find a new take on the place and later if I have the means to downsize I will. I got busy today sorting out some if the things that were bugging me. Had a bit of a panic attack but its passed now. Hope you have an enjoyable weekend. 🌹
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Boy, can I relate.
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Yeah Life!! It sure can throw us a lot of curve balls. 🥺
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I know you shared a bit about your history in another post… were you the youngest in your family?
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Yes. One brother (who’s the oldest), and two older sisters.
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