Braces

At times I feel my breathing stop

As this brace tightens

With the thoughts and memories

And pressure of what it was to live

As we used to live

At times I am not even aware

That I am holding my breath

Poised on the brink of life

There are fears that live deep deep down

Inside the night side of myself

While in my head

The liar of control

Tries to convince my aching heart

It did not suffer much

And does not know the way to go

That will feed my soul

When did this fear of being myself

Become so strong

How long ago was it I blocked the song

In my soul

And if I weep now

Isn’t there so much to be crying for

And yet those years are gone now

And its already seems I have been

Grieving far too long

As my heart reminds me how large it really is

Like now it is almost burning

With the recognition that I may finally find a way

To let it free itself

From all of these braces

At times I felt so shamed

By the many times you told me

All that was wrong with me

Maybe you were right

But truly the shame was not mine

I was trying my best

But the truth was I lost the way

to the truth of myself

a long long time ago

And it is taking my time

even now

to remove theses braces

And cleanse away all of the limgering traces

Of unearned shame