More and more in my own family I see we do not always see each other.. We also get so swept up in our own life that other’s reality does not always figure and if you were raised by self absorbed parents or parents under the gun its hard and you may have siblings who inherit the same and you then get neglected by them, not that it was ever their responsibility to parent you, but when they carry on those patterns it makes it especially hard for the younger siblings. But it occurs to me that compassion often takes us into a softer less ego defended place and that is why showing it is often hard, especially towards the egoically hardened, but then our wounded needy self plays a part too.
This morning I just let myself be soft in nature. I was so sad last night lying in bed with wave after wave of memory flooding me about the past years with my Mum and sister, especially leading up to the fall Mum had just before she died and the seizures of Lyra too. I let the grief come and it took me off to sleep. I also prayed a lot.. I have a lovely Julia Cameron book on prayers that help with the sense of being held, loved and accepted by God I am sad I have not used much but lately I am calling on the power of prayer to clear my vision and so I can be with the underlying grief and complex feelings of powerlessness that I have so they do not become other feelings.. I am also watching my thoughts.
Its always good to question what is happening for another person from their point of view and as a subject of their own emotional and mental conditioning.. I made the call to my brother a moment ago. I let the tears fall over my sister, he feels powerless too and we shared about that as well as that I see my sister (rightly) finds it a little too hard to live alone, which I accept fully now. Just because I have had to fight on all alone does not make my way right and I see that now and maybe my sister’s way does not lie in therapy.. In therapy I only share my perspective anyway as my therapist tries to help me heal from the crippling sense of self blame that had dogged my later years.. But compassion takes me into tenderness.. It is the healing balm I need to apply daily both to my own treatment of myself as well as to my treatment of others. These are my thoughts for today..
Venus passed into Scorpio on the 21st and others on the Facebook Ascension and energy shifts page were feeling that in past days, many of them crying a lot, just like me. My tears cleanse me.. They soften me and they remind me that compassion is so healing, when I allow it to widen my perspective on our profound and oh so complexly woven interconnectedness with other beings, nature and the Universe.
Emerging From The Dark Night 
I love how you described compassion as a softening force. It is so gentle, but at the same time powerful.
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I think it takes real soul strength to show genuine heartfelt compassion.💖
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I agree, it seems I must receive compassion and love before I feel safe enough to share it. And like you wrote about, I was rarely truly seen as a child. I do believe by giving myself compassion and love I am growing to feel more safe in giving compassion to others. 🌱
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I do think the way we treat others is a reflection of the way we treat aspects of ourselves and vice versa.. People who are out of touch with their own hearts often hurt us most…or the not being seen wound when triggered. That is when we need to see us…and the other person’s take on us. If that makes sense?
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Yes, I do think I understand what you are expressing. When we are unseen by someone else we have to be able to continue seeing/being there for ourselves. Strong enough to remain in the light, is how my mind likes to think of it, as opposed to falling into the darkness where the other person is in that moment.
In terms of how to understand the other person’s take on me when they are in the darkness and seeing me through that lens – I am still very unsure of. I know I want to always be real to myself, and stay in a place of compassion and love towards the other person and myself, but what that balance looks like in action is something I am still very much in the thick of learning.
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We seem to br earning in very similar things. I am stiil learning how to relate..often its from a place if my unresolved childhood needs (I am seeing more snd more lately( andcthat when false things get projected on me it feels off or I get a reaction. Learning to tune into that is takjng a lot of time. I still feel so young inside a lot of the time…
Appreciate sharing with you and understanding how your process is unfolding too.
Thanks so much. 💖
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Thank you so much for sharing where you are too. It does sound like we are experiencing and learning something similar.
I find if I’ve been in a situation where things didn’t feel quiet right to me, maybe with how I felt, what I said or what was said to me, etc. It can help me find understanding and a sense of clarity for how to handle a similar situation next time if I write quick expressive poetry. I sort of use it to ask and then let that part of me explain how she felt, and why, and what she feels she needs, and also to let my more adult self speak to her. It seems to bring my child self a sense of being heard.
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What a great tool. I thought to do that just earlier about a conflict I had with Scott this morning. That’s very helpful.
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