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Devestatingly sad

My sister rang to say they put her back in hospital.. She sounded so so low and tired out by it all. All I could do is cry.. Then when my tears started she just said to me five words ; “I wish I could do that!” What more can I say, medication has been blocking her for over 15 years now as I see it and I said to her, even though I don’t know what to do or say, that I categorically do not see meds working for her.. Anyway it is all beyond my control. But I am so sad, so so sad. I told her that I realised today there will never be a time I am not sad about our family, but the truth is I want some happiness too. And some days I find it.. Today has not been one of those days, things felt so dark, but in some way I accept my sister is where she needs to be.. God is in charge and in hospital she is not as alone as she is at home all alone and unable to reach out. I feel more peace knowing she is there surrounded by others. For now I entrust my sister heart, body and soul to her higher power.. And I can categorically say, I love her with all that is in me, and so wish things were different for her. ❤

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Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

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17 thoughts on “Devestatingly sad”

  2. It is so hard watching someone we love struggle. Your sister knows that you love her very much and that bond will never fail you both. Sending love and strength to you Deborah ❤ x

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  4. We just never understand God’s plan. Sometimes it seems hurtful, but we know deep down it’s for some greater purpose we just can’t understand. Sending prayers…

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    1. Thank you. I know she is in the right place now. Grief is so difficult in our society.. and its so hard to see someone lost in meds but I have to accept it.. all I can do is love her and pray in time God heals something for her.. I am so grateful to know you.. bit hug and love to you today ❤

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