This triggered me. It was part of a comment stream on a post on ‘controlling your emotions’. When I protested the blogger in question said that being sad, stops you living in the present and that triggered me, is it not possible to have our emotions and move forward in present time?
I come from a place, a family and a society in which sadness had no place, grief was not to be felt and one in which to display emotion was ‘making a spectacle of yourself’, ‘being too sensitive or dramatic’. I actually feel anger in my body even writing this.. It was also NOT OKAY to push back against hurt and to have your scream of no or have a boundary respected. A moment ago my dog Jasper hurt me by leaning on me with his claws and I pushed him away and said no, he looked at me a bit startled but he wasn’t ‘hurt or damaged’ by me protecting myself, and I have noticed dogs waste no time in telling other dogs to back off when their boundaries are crossed.
Also this morning I had to sit down and weep over the hurt from being scammed and accept the pain of that into my heart but I then got on with my day determined to make something positive of it, so. no! feeling sadness does not have to stop you living in the present.
Emotions are energy in motion of our spirit. Only a controlling society that wants you silenced will not allow you to have and make positive use of your feelings. A sick religion quotes bible verses to provide a justification for the reason you need to buckle under and remain subservient to a ‘law’ or ‘necessity’ that only suits its philosophical ‘ideals’ rather than your own valid human, emotional and spiritual ones .. most especially to be connected to a living source of inner life energy or spirit. It fails recognise anger as a cry for justice or boundaries and such sick religions often also judge people for the ‘sin’ of depression or sadness that may be part of a way the soul has to work through exceptionally painful and difficult experiences.
How we relate to our emotions will determine if they make our life harder or richer.. Being able to have a part of you that can receive the emotion, process and alchemise it is essential to both your mental and physical health.. There is a way to be with yourself and accept truths into your heart and mother yourself through them without using them as a justification to collapse into helplessness or self pity or run a script that tells you that you are inferior, wrong, useless or a waste of space for having said emotions or having gone through difficult experiences.
Your sadness and anger show you what has value to you, as does your fear, so when you negate those reactions and responses you are really negating yourself and your reality and you are blocking valuable inner informations. Yes, there will be many times its not possible for us to have what we want or need and many times something of value is taken. We can acknowledge at those times that our will is not in charge and open up to the Universe to ask what the next step is we must take to keep moving forward, learning and growing… Alternatively we can shut down, refuse the feelings, judge ourselves or others, hide, lie, run, avoid and bury.. the choice in the end is ours, the consequences of said choice will be ours to bear.
Being sad is fine as long as you are at peace with yourself and just a witness of that you are sad!
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Exactly that’s what i was trying to say. ❤
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😊🤗
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Also as we both know if you witness sadness and accept it in your heart it flows through like a river.
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Absolutely Deb 😊🌹
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I relate to this. I’ve always been prone to sadness and a lowness of mood. I am starting to realize my sadness often isn’t my problem, it’s a result of my problem. My problem is I frequently resist, criticize, downplay, or can’t even see and understand my needs. This leads me to not protecting my boundaries too.
In childhood my needs were too overwhelming for my already unhappy parents who had both had difficult childhoods, so I guess I learned to repress my needs to protect those around me. Now I’m trying to learn to get back in touch with my needs again. And I believe I can do that by being present with and compassionately listening to what my sadness and low moods are trying to tell me. I think they will lead me back to an awareness of my long repressed needs.
Each of our journeys are different, but I’m with you, for myself my sadness isn’t holding me back it’s my not being present and compassionate with it which is. ❤️
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You have such a wonderful clear way of articulating your process..
I felt my needs to be overwhelming too and I too repressed mine., also. In my last relationship my ex actually told me clearly that my needs would always come second place.. I am only, like you and with a lot of therapy help, am coming to feel they are okay lately and I feel so happy when I let myself have and fill them.. so this comment of yours resonates so deeply..
I very much value your input and that you open to share yourself with me and others here..
Thank you so much for that gift.
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All readers are pilgrims to truth -the contiguously undifferentiated continuum we’re part of! https://chemicalgorithms.blogspot.com/
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