Biting down hard on experience : the wisdom of letting go.

I recognised after writing an earlier post on anger today that all that happened to hurt me happened in the past.. Afterwards I asked myself what the gain was in reliving it because I started feeling rage towards my sibling who is at present not in a good state… I cried a lot while visiting her this afternoon and realising this but at one point i just laughed too… I saw with stark clarity that I was only hurting myself by holding onto the past and not continuing to love my sister. That is why I do believe now that the advice we get given in AA to pray for those who hurt us through unconsciousness, while recognising they are spiritually unwell is sound. In this way we detach with love from the hurt.

What good will it do to keep biting down hard on past experiences.? Thanks also to my lovely follower Ashok who left a comment only moments ago to the effect to not take it all too seriously.. I don’t want to negate the hurt of things she did to me in the past, but as an adult I can be an adult and choose to rise above it..or take a view of seeing my sister as innocent even if she is not. In the end biting down hard on my experience will only end up hurting me. I would rather just be at the moment..

There is a time I will be able to go and sit with my sister again… But for now all I need to remember that what happened in the past lives in the past.. to continue to relive and not let it go it will only end up hurting me.. That said the pain has to come to awareness in order to be recognised and released and we may need to feel angry for some time before we can truly heal and forgive and see the error in holding onto the pain.

The fact is anger cannot be by passed on the path of healing but holding onto in the end will only end up with us swallowing poison in the hopes another will suffer and that road will lead us nowhere good.. it will also continue to poison our spiritual, emotional and physical health.

Its also important to realise that writing, sounding, movement and exercise may help us take some of the pressure off our body of reliving pent up difficult experiences over and over… we do need to make sense of past pain so we do need to externalise it and make sure we are not internalising or turning the pain and anguish back on our bodies or our selves.