Paralysed

I do not know what to do anymore

My heart is sore

From trusting then not trusting you

There is no way to know the truth

Unless I try

And then trying seems too hard

If I risk losing it all

Then it is my tears begin to fall

As I stand here paralysed

Not knowing which way to turn

My chest burns sometimes

With the thought that I have the power

And could be the one

To make it happen

And then I feel so powerless

And full of fear

Its been 2 goddam years

Since the day on 4 of June

I thought you were coming home

So now all I do is wait

I know I must also find a way

To silence a mind

That no matter how hard it tries

Cannot know the ‘truth’

Maybe I will always be alone

You say

Maybe I will end up dying

Saving other people’s lives

That makes me cry

I have another chance to try

So why do I continue to be

So full of doubt and fear

So paralysed?