Entering the heart of trauma

After reading a powerful piece of writing by Jeff Foster this morning on the Sacred Heart of Trauma the above lines came to me.. It seems there may be something purposeful in trauma, it may not just be an aberration that occurs, and even though certain traumas can often shatter us across a number of levels and many never find their way back from it, nevertheless for those of us who have the courage to enter it and all the feelings associated, welcoming them into our experience while not becoming too attached to ego reactions over time, trauma may seem to offer us gifts : compassion for our fellow man and ourselves, a sense of the random paradox of life, insight into the nature of how certain actions, desires, human causes and consequences often lead us into the fires of transformation. I was very struck by something Liz Greene wrote about Saturn Pluto connections to personal planets and by transits occurring collectively (which often concur with world wide traumatic events such as 9/11 and the recent Australian bushfires). The words Liz uses are these :

“wisdom through suffering and purification through the ordeal by fire.”

With regard to Jeff Foster this interests me as a lot of his writings and reflections seem to have evolved out of the last Saturn Pluto opposition in 2001 and he gives us ways of accepting suffering and all feelings into our heart in order to grow through them and deepen..nothing is rejected on that path, not even anger.

The opposite reaction is to resist changes, reject, judge, and run from the heart of trauma seeking an escape from the inner work associated, dealing with feelings of powerlessness, loss, terror and fear, desire to escape from the world… There are cases in which trauma leading to direct action in the world are positive, in the case of those who after having gone through a major trauma or loss do all they can to support others or to fight for better conditions in an abusive, demeaning or disrespectful society… I am thinking particularly today of how the African American community must be feeling in the wake of such an horrific act of disrespect and violence that occurred in Minneapolis this week.

Trauma can outrage us and force us into some retaliatory reactions which may cause ourselves and other’s further harm or inspire us to dig deeper for wisdom, love and purification. On a positive level, trauma may remove thing from us and force us on a more deeply emotional and spiritually attuned path. Trauma deepens and matures us, it may shut us down for long periods, opening up archetypal inward channels. It is in many ways a visit by the dark Goddess who cares so little for our personal wants, dreams, hopes and desires.

One trauma may be the onset of dementia in a loved one, and I noticed yesterday that English novelist Nicci Gerrard has recently written a book called What Dementia Can Teach Us About Love. Those who have the courage to open their hearts deep inside the heart of trauma will feel the brunt of things that hurt and change us, forcing us to open to paradox and ambiguity…Doing so will, at times, seem to demand of us an acceptance we seem incapable of.

During certain periods of intense trauma I have reached for transpersonal, godly or angelic guidance. In times of deep suffering and loss I have felt held by larger forces and on the brink of getting sober I had a pretty powerful spiritual flood experience where I sensed the angels taking me home to inner truths and opening up feelings I had been burying for the first 31 years of my life, without all my earlier trauma I would never have been opened up on such a level.

Today I would like to share some of the paragraphs from Jeff Foster, it is a long piece of writing so I cannot quote it all here. I hope it has some thing to offer anyone lately enduring trauma and finding the courage to rest inside it while continuing to reach for a more connections inwardly and outwardly as well as for a more heart awakened life on the other side of trauma.

Everything is dying from the moment it is born… everything is made of crystal, and therein lies our greatest sorrow and our deepest depression, but also our greatest potential for joy and liberation. We learn to get out of our own way and embrace things as they really are. We learn to love life and as it is, and let go of our outdated fantasies. We learn that real joy is not an escape from pain, but the willingness to feel it and ..open ourselves up to even the most profound grief. If we can touch out own sorrows, we can touch the sorrows of all humanity. This is not wallowing in our pain, this is waking up, the opening of our eyes, the birth of our compassion.

We allow even our deepest pains to remind us of the preciousness of each and every moment of life. We allow life to break our hearts wide open to truth.

The Way of Rest : Finding the Courage to Hold Everything in Love

Sitting by the bedside of someone you love and will soon have to say goodbye to opens you to the heart of love and letting go, facing the fact you may have a terminal illness, opens your heart to the precious vibrancy of this one moment, saying goodbye to a dying pet launches you into that passage where your heart will, if you allow it to be, be totally broken open to love, should you find the courage.