Feeling dispirited today.

Life feels heavy and gloomy today. I was doing so well on Monday and one message sent from someone just upturned the apple cart. I’m not going to blow it off this time. I went through all that shit with the coast house and just sucked it up. My sister was going on this week about how everyone will be welcome to use it after all the renovations she and her son planned with no consultation but I just don’t feel comfortable due to the history. Deep down no matter how hard I try to philophise or intellectualise over the hurt it’s still there. I can’t just make up my mind to feel differently..that would be denying the truth..just cannot do that any more.

Feeling so headachy with sadness writing this. Friends letting you down hurts. I try to keep.picking myself up…I’m just tired of it. Anyway tomorrow is another day. Had to cancel my walk with my friend and her dog Bobby due to rain so I got out in the car and am going to go browsing in the bookshop for a while just need to do something nice to forget the sadness for a while…