Our deepest need as children

Our deepest need as children is to be seen, heard, understood and truly related to but when I grew up I was taught I was to be seen but not heard and often it felt like I wasn’t truly seen. This need to be seen lingers on later in life and we can twist ourselves out of shape to get this need met, often with people who may not see us. This may set us up for co-dependency, a condition where we look outside the self for validation and worth or may sacrifice our own values to belong or not be rejected. But if we do not honour our own values we are basically rejecting ourselves.

I listened to another of Melanie Tonia Evan’s videos today which spoke of the sense of shame we can carry from deep inside that make us feel unworthy and much of it may have been inculcated into us by religious belief systems too. We can do inner work to see where the trauma of such inner self punishment introjected lives inside our bodies and release it, if we can take the time to attune. We can listen to the inner voices and turn them around to be loving encouraging ones. We can attune deeply to our inner self, feelings, value and lives.

Lets face it, if we stay disempowered then we stay in a victimised mode. This occurs due to narcissistic abuse syndrome and the belief we are not good enough, it often comes from absorbing harsh punitive beliefs from religion or conditioning that if we freely try to be our true real self we will be punished or judged. Such fears can be so deeply rooted inside of us and they can lead to what Melanie Tonia Evans calls a degree of inner fracture. In this condition feelings of shame, unworthiness, defectiveness and rejection dominate us and hold us back from fully living. Especially if we were forsaken then we may believe our higher power or God has forsaken us. Stuck dark energy then begins to dominate us and it can prevent the light coming through. It stops us trusting our inner knowing.

Most of all we need to see ourselves and validate our true self and values, we have to know our worth comes from the being we are not the human conditions we are hardwired to ‘do’. I always loved the John Bradshaw saying. “I am not a human doing, I am a human being” Our true life lives deep inside in our authentic beingness, in being the true one we are. It lies in busting out of conditioning that may shame us and in not giving power to the inner voices that invalidate us or our true self. You got this. Treat yourself well, and don’t always demand that others see you. If they don’t see you, its fine to walk away and not stay around to be victimised. Own your own power. Not everyone can get everyone else. ❤