Least said : soonest mended

Okay here’s a thorny take on a subject maybe not popular in this day and age of everyone putting their two cents worth out there, at times there comes a time when silence is the best answer. I am not talking here of the silent treatment that someone uses to ignore your heart, but I am talking here of when we or others overstep the mark of having an opinion on something when we really don’t know enough about it.

It recently happened to me and I shared about the upset here, one of my nephews found out I had fallen victim to a scam and lambasted me over social media via personal message. It would not have hurt so much if he had been in contact other times, like the painful period after my mother passed away or when I reached out over email to say my sister had been hospitalised several times for depression and knowing the trauma his own mother went through I can understand his need for self protective distance, a subject that upsets his brothers. What I do not think is fair is him having used that painful experience as chance to take me down even further.

I just came across this reading in Chidera Eggerue’s book that I quoted from yesterday and it reminded me of something my step father once said to me “Deborah, you need to learn the value of the unspoken word.” There are times when it is just best to say nothing. There are times it is necessary to feel below the surface of what is happening in someone. For myself I know the power nasty words have to lodge deep inside the soul like psychic shrapnel some of us have the power not to let those bits of hurting stick but others of us struggle in such a situation not to take things on board. It pays to be mindful of what we say and what we allow to remain lodged inside. Do we always have to have share our opinion? The wise person learns over time when to speak and when to remain silent.

your mouth can either save you or get you killed, so if in doubt, shut your mouth…. the less you say, the less you can be held for. Learning to mind your business is a skill that cannot be taught. It is something you have to be willing to learn from life itself.

We have all been in situations where we have gone a step to far and said way more than necessary, which has eventually landed us in trouble. I have learned from experience that if the situation does not directly concern you or someone you cannot live without, tune out, because when it goes tits up, all the pitchforks will be coming in your direction. Laying low and focusing on your own problems is key.

The truth is that when life is going well and we are minding our own business we become less concerned with the affairs or business of others, and this may be best kept in mind if someone starts to attack you with their tongue or words. In that situation see it as evidence of where they are at in themselves instead of where you are at. This way lays far more peace of mind and heart.