Not arguing with reality : today’s reflections

I find I am arguing with reality a lot less lately. I noticed over past years the way my longing for things to be a way there were not continued to cause me more pain, often in these situations I would try every way I could to bend the reality or control things and that in end only left me twisted up in knots if the ‘something’ was not capable of being affected or changed. That is when I need to find the serenity to accept the situation. Luckily that acceptance is coming faster these days and wow the peace that comes from that. Often there may be some feelings I need to have in reaction to understanding what is hidden underneath driving the desire and then there ARE times when I can speak up if something upsets me that I can communicate to the other person or if it is a matter of asking for what I feel I need respectfully in that situation. I can find the courage to do that.

I had a really satisfying, peaceful, happy day yesterday. Even though one of my nephews is in town and I am not being included in celebrations for his birthday which was on the 10th I looked for what I could do that was nice for me to do. I took myself out for a pedicure and along the way I met a lady who is opening as shop with recycled fashions for sale to support victims of domestic violence, we got involved in quiet a chat and I was thrilled as her shop has a real European vibe and in time will be made into a café, creperie and gathering place. I told her about my blog and she offered for me to do a talk on what I went through in terms of emotional abuse in my last relationship.

I then got some healthy stuff for lunch, came home and made a salad, took Jasper for a walk, had a chat with a neighbour who was installing some irrigation came home and watched an episode of Grantchester and wrote a poem. Jasper and I went out a little later too down to the lake before coming home to make a nice dinner.

Sometimes God’s will for me is not to be with my family, that is what I am beginning to see, sometimes my upset at not being included has stopped me seeing the life I could be living outside of the family and the way I could be meeting my own needs. Its taken me a lot of years to realise this and I read once that those with Saturn Moon often have to burn bridges with family in order to move forward in their own lives. I would never in a million years turn my back on my family. I am very close to my older sister’s sons and they make the effort to get in touch. But what I really realised this week is that it is possible to make myself happy and often this is conditional on accepting certain realities. I may not always like them and a part of me may wish some of them were different but when I can find peace with the way things are I suffer less. When I do this, my energy is freed to look for the beauty in life and experience those moments of random connection which just seem to happen when I take the action to step outside myself and embrace life.