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Allow

For God’s sake why cant we just allow other human beings their process to be and express and feel as they feel? I just read a very upsetting post about a beautiful poet who was told his blog was too sad so a follower was going to unfollow them, it actually hurt my heart to read it.

I struggle myself because I have often been told the same thing. When I started to deal with the repressed grief over my father’s loss and other painful relationships that ended I was often told by family I need to ‘lighten up’ or ‘get a life’. One person a few years ago actually told me I was living half a life because at that point I was dealing with the aftermath of emotional abuse and had been trying to support my Mum and two sisters through hospitalisations and a suicide attempt. That comment really hurt and came at a time after I had had a very painful sinus operation to deal with what I now know were deeply embedded emotional issues of unresolved grief.

I have discovered the hard way that there are people out there who will not let us be sad or angry. For some reason they fear it or see it as a sign of ‘madness’ or some kind of threat. Its a conversation my nephew and I were having yesterday. Especially here in Australia the default setting is to see everything as a joke and there is actually a saying ‘She’ll be right mate” and this is not what we need in the face of feeling our feelings.

The truth is our unique emotional process is our own and only we get to say what is wrong and right for us. Invalidation is a very real kind of abuse and when we are young it can undermine the very foundations of who we are. It may take years to undo. Sure there are times we get trapped in emotions but in my experience this happens more when those around us don’t help us to get it out or fail to show empathy. My personal experience is that suicidal feelings come when we feel there is not one person there relating to our true insides and we lack the strength or insight to know we have a right to our feelings or are hurting due to very painful things we may not have been able to face or feel the full brunt of before.

These days I try my best to trust my feelings. I don’t seem to cry as much as I used to but I also know that if you lose someone and you loved that person deeply their loss leaves a void inside of you. And everyone is different. Some manage to find love again and others don’t, but if its your soul mate you lose that is going to leave a huge void. That said I feel love lives on anyone we loved who passed is always close to us but that does not mean we don’t go on missing them on the earth plane. And if you have a blog your right to express who you are and how you feel is yours. Don’t let anyone tell you what you have a right to express or not express. We all deserve what David Richo calls ‘the Five A’s’. And allowing ourselves to flow and open our heart energy is one of the most important. If others won’t give us that permission, we must never stop giving it to ourselves.

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Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

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16 thoughts on “Allow”

  1. I came to your site because I read your lovely comment on Archangel White Wolf and I thought, yes, that’s exactly it. So I came to see what lovely person had written that lovely and perceptive comment, and then I had the added bonus of finding your fine poetry. Thank you.

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  4. Interesting timing. I have been going through my emails with all the blogs I have skipped over and I had kept a good amount of yours because they resonated with me. I had planned to look through your posts today! I think it is courageous of you to speak on your emotions and share your story because others can find healing in connectivity. I know you help bring me comfort which is a gift within itself. 🙂 Blessings!

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