Finding ways to cope with feeling strangled

I struggle when my computer internet goes down. Its been off air for two days now and I’m typing this on my phone keypad which isnt great for stream of consciousness poetry or journalling. I’m going to head off to the library later to use the internet there cause I was actually crying with frustration when it was down again today. Its better than flipping out in a rage with anger though over what I’m powerless over.

It’s standard Mercury retrograde territory anyway. We have week left of the slow inch back as it hovers over natal Neptune in my chart…that nebulous area of where I seek connection and love or get caught up in complicated entanglements and boudaey issues tinged with shadows from the past. The full moon in Taurus opposed it on the 11th so if light is being shone into dark murky spaces stay with it. The Moon and Mercury are trine and sextile transitting Pluto planet of death rebirth insight complexes and transformation, signalling somethings need to be let go of or detatched from. It’s a good time to stand back and observe your reactions and triggers rather than fly off the handle.

Im sharing conversation with a lovely man in the middle east lately who adores poetry and politics…this came as a gift after I blocked the scammer last week. Its waking up a mystical side of myself I don’t get to share with a lot of people yet I am also enjoying being grounded in the ‘now’ and reality…Nature is full of light today despite severe bushfires burning north. Yesterday was ominous today seems clearer. I feel an inner shift towards life fun joy and engagement trying to anchor in. My body symptoms are still intense…haven’t managed to kick coffee which makes the anxiety worse at times…trying to eat and rest well and spend lots of time in the open air with Jasper. These things give me life and joy and energy..they dont drain me…and right now my soul needs to be filled up. I won’t fight the internet being down but go with it. Maybe ill write my poems out long hand instead and post them later. There is always some positive way through frustration, I am learning.