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Frustration

WordPress playing funny buggers with me on my computer is making me feel like my head is in a vice at the moment combined with other frustrations. When I get the shits a piece I read recently on anger comes to mind saying its only a secondary emotion. Never the less the desire to be fully alive and expressing often meets blockages in my life, fear being a primary one. Opportunities come and I falter and second guess everything. Body symptoms possibly from old trauma make me feel I am still stuck or trapped and fill my head with darker imagining than necessary.

Thank God for this lovely community on WP I was just out at the shops having a coffee and getting groceries when beautiful notifications came through expressing love for my poems. I’m constantly surprised by this. My drafts folder currently has about 80 items in it that havent yet seen the light of day. I’m constantly reigning my self in, maybe its the British in me. I was just reading a chapter in Notes from a Small Island by Bill Bryson and he spoke of this English tendency to reign in desire and impulse..wish I could kick it gleefully to the kerb to be honest.

Anyway here I am still alive and breathing longing to get a passport and jump on a plane to somewhere most mornings lately. Or have a friend I could call to say…..”wanna go out and get a pizza and go dancing?”. So so so longing to come more fully alive I feel like I’m gonna burst. Let it begin with me helps me to remind myself I am the one that needs to keep reaching for new life instead of just sitting around waiting for it to happen. 😊

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Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

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18 thoughts on “Frustration”

  1. I know what you mean about WP.

    I love it so, but sometimes it pulls a stunt that leaves me going WTF? Like, it will tweak something and leave me unawares until I use or need it. Ugh. But overall, won’t complain. Much. 😉

    And the draft folder . . it’s like the old storage unit I used to have where I would visit and find things that I had completely forgotten I had! From time to time, I pull something from my draft folder and use it. I should have a schedule for such things, but hey.

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    1. Awww I love that idea of the old storage unit but a ‘virtual’ one. I am sure there is a time to for things locked in to be freed. For me I get courage when someone likes what I write which isn’t great for me being self validating but there you go.

      Yep WP is doing a bit of a number on me right now but maybe its something to do with my computer as typing on my cell phone is working fine.
      Lots of love, Marc ❤

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      3. Aye it is so much blood been shed they say that essence of the ancestors was forged into her lands makes Ireland so fertal

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      7. From the North I love the cold my 2 favourite season Winter and Autumn. Winter because how you see snow falling covering everything with its essence of bliss.

        And Autumn of course seeing all the transition of bright colours and can not forget All Hallow’s Eve. Lol

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