Why I forgive : some reflections

I forgive for myself, to free myself from the chains and pain of the past. In forgiving I give up ongoing resentment over what hurt me, recognising that hurt people hurt people. What good will it do me to hang onto the pain over what was done to me, feeding my pain body over and over with thoughts of punishment and revenge. I will always feel the hurt but I can turn that hurt into suffering with my thoughts. I can rail against an ‘unfair fate’ not realising that human nature is fundamentally subject to flaws and imperfections.

In forgiving I break through my anger to tears, I don’t allow the tears to weaken me, only to soften the rigid, defensive places. Some fear if they become soft in this way, they may not stop further abuse. But when the poison arrow is shot at me I can chose to take it out of me and lay it into the ground. Or I can imagine the poison arrows flung at me, transforming into flowers and falling to the ground at my feet.

If I want to be a force of love, I may still have to know rage, anger, hatred and resentment. The healing comes when I allow them to burn my soul clean and clear. I believe the anger will burn out in time and that tears will soften and work their healing alchemy on my soul if I surrender to them. Surrender does not mean I become weak. True surrender is an admission of vulnerability at the time to what hurt and recognition that in time I have the choice over what my response will be knowing the impact upon me of holding certain attitudes to it in place.