I had my first session back with my therapist Kat today at 11 am. I was so excited to see her after a month long break, I really missed her so much and there was so much to catch up on. I shared a fair bit about the hurt I felt from my Mum’s friend and we developed some deeper insights. I was leafing through the Al Anon daily reader Hope For Today a while ago and came across this reading which seems to apply to my situation of struggling with painful invalidating things said to me. I thought I would share it to help others.
Before I came to Al Anon I took disparaging comments to heart. I believed them and found myself wondering what was wrong with me. Even as I become older, I carried inside the person who grew up with alcoholic parents and endured the abuse that accompanied the disease. A large part of my recovery has been to rediscover and nurture the part of me that grew up with active alcoholism. I had to learn how to love this aspect of myself unconditionally.
When I took Step Three and truly surrendered my will and my life to the care of my Higher Power, I felt enveloped in healing love. Through Step Eleven’s prayer and meditation, I bathe myself in this love everyday. By diligently working the Steps, I’ve finally learned how to love all of me – my strengths and my shortcomings. I feel a much stronger sense of self, which I now allow no one to diminish. Al Anon has given me wonderful gifts – the self respect and self esteem needed to protect myself from unacceptable behaviour.
Now when my son tells me he was teased at school, I pass on my recovery lessons to him, as we talk about self love. I teach him what I have learned…I help him by suggesting simple ways he can detach. I explain how he can let it begin with him by not retaliating. I help him understand that sometimes he also does things that hurt others and that he can feel better about himself by making amends.
When I awaken to the gift I truly am, and wisely use detachment, no one’s words or actions can hurt me.
The most important person to gain love and respect from is myself.
Courage to Be Me, p. 137
Emerging From The Dark Night 
Thank you for sharing 🖤
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