An emotional time

Mercury retrograde slipped back into Cancer today so prepared to find yourself in a watery emotional place again and perhaps having triggered memories and longings for the next three weeks or so. Feelings get stirred up and influence our thoughts and then thoughts can drive feelings and they may not always be accurate perceptions but may be tinged with past pain with the strong Pluto influence this past week.

I was noticing on the Awakened Empath page that over the past week many have also been experiencing a lot of anger and rage too, with Mars transiting through Leo.

I just listened to a lovely daily tarot reading on todays energy and in it Gregory Scott spoke of how now is a time to really try to connect to our higher power through meditation, quiet time, time in nature or just ‘being’. This afternoon I just let myself lay in the sun on my bedroom carpet floor and let myself breath the sun’s energy into my body, I actually just asked the Sun for some healing today as I am having more requests made of me for help. The Sun represents will, right action, positive thought and courage. I was inspired to pick up my Louise Hay daily reader and in it she spoke of how one day she experienced a sore shoulder and when she checked in with her body she realised she was carrying a lot of anger. She did some anger work with a pillow and managed to release the trapped anger and lo and behold her sore shoulder stopped aching. As many of you know Louise healed herself from cancer and she speaks about the part resentment and buried and unacknowledged anger can play in the illness.

I had a week this week of recognising my own anger. I now know I get this anger when a boundary has been hit, so its a message from my body and soul to set a limit or take care of my own life. Another reading of Louise’s I then read spoke of being your own loving partner. All love begins with genuine self love and without this we don’t have much to give to anyone else. For myself I am recognising I am actually resentful of the amount of help I have been trying to give and hard as it is I need to use my energy and money to nurture my own life right now. Its a very hard truth to swallow because this week I realised that as an empath I do thrive on my alone spiritually connected times but I do get lonely too. I just would long to be with a friend or have a friend I could call just to go on a spontaneous outing, but I find those around me who are friends are always just ‘too busy’ to catch up and I only handle brief catch ups anyway.

I found myself crying a lot again this morning on the way home from our walk and visit to the markets. I have just felt so goddam disappointed that my final try to help Scott has been blocked again and the banks will give no reason. That said I now know I need to TOTALLY LET GO. I want to stay well. I am due for a follow up mammogram which I have been putting off for about 6 weeks now. I am anxious due to all the stress lately my cancer may have returned (interesting that the astrological symbol for the birth sign Cancer represents two breasts). I really hope this is not so and is just anxiety thinking. I would rather not go for the test because I hate medical procedures. I will plan it for a week when I feel a little less depleted than I do this week.

Anyway I am trying to spend more time in silence away from the computer at present so for now wishing everyone a happy Friday and weekend full of some self love and sunshine. Take extra good care of yourselves this weekend. ❤