Words are so inadequate sometimes

I know words do not always reach the true heart of feeling. Maybe that is why we need music and art and meditation and silence and stillness. Through those mediums we touch into the awesome mysteries of ‘truth’ in those precious ah ha moments when realisations arise and in those special moments when feeling breaks through the barricades of thoughts which hold them in or under cover.

I have those moments often and they are not easy to speak of. They are what I most long for too I guess for they are the moments I feel the personal and collective world souls cojoin and mix just for a while. Contemplating life and trauma I see there is often no easy way out of our pain and history, instead we need to find a way to contain it. Some make art of pain and I listened to a great interview on this subject with the lead singer of Aussie rock bank You Am I, Tim Rodgers on Sunday. He started playing and writing music to deal with his anxiety condition and still looks to music and poetry to help him through as do so many of us here.

For now I may just let the silence speak. The sun has broken through cloud, my hair is all tangled up in a nest after a night of worry about my sister and being prepared to drop everything to drive her to the hospital which she said is not necessary now. Jasper is my comfort, wrapped up in a cosy electric blanket beside me. My stomach is rumbling for food. I have been crying loads and yet I also had the realisation that despite what ever s&*t goes down in life things basically are okay. There is a deeper connection between us and everyone that goes on under the surface noise and restless tangled up confusion of thought life. At times we miss each other, we long for things we don’t get, we second guess other’s feelings and motive and don’t get them right. We don’t get the things we need and give the things not needed and yet other times too we do manage to meet, soul to soul, breath to breath, heart beat to heart beat. And those are the moments I cherish most. The quiet and silent times of connection where two souls mingle and we just know deep inside we are not as separate from each other and life as our ego minds try to convince us that we are.