Imagining our spirit as a fountain : the importance of hearing, expressing and being heard.

I came across the following lovely analogy in Tara Brach’s book True Refuge today and wanted to share it. I have experienced so many blocked and trapped emotions in my own life. This can happen when our spirits are not truly received by others. We may be shut down, not unlike a fountain or hose carrying the energy of emotion being kinked or clogged. For what its worth I thought I would share these beautiful words tonight.

Our inner lives and spirits (are like) fountains that become clogged with unprocessed hurts and fears. As we ignore our painful feelings or push then away, they impede our flowing aliveness and obscure the pure awareness that is our source. By not listening to our inner life we cut ourselves off from reality. What remains is a diminished self, an unreal other.

But when we confide in someone and they listen to us, really listen, the debris naturally begins to dissolve, and the fountain of aliveness is again free to flow. And when we listen, really listen, to another, we help them come home to this same aliveness.

It’s important to remember that this process takes time. As we begin to listen, we often come face to face with the distasteful tangles, the jealousy or self consciousness or anger that have been clogging the fountain. The conversation might seem superficial or dull, nervous or self absorbed. A dedicated listener hangs in there without getting lost in resisting or judging. This unconditional presence is a healing balm. It gradually helps the speakers’ tangled defences relax so that this or her natural vitality and spirit can emerge. Perhaps you’ve noticed this when someone is really listening to you. You feel calmer, whole, “more like yourself” – more at home. Like an unclogged fountain. the deeper waves of humor, intelligence, creativity and love begin to flow.

And it occurs to me that the opposite happens when we are not truly listened to our told we need to feel or think another way. We do not get to then unravel the tangles or loosen the kinks that allow the water of our spirit to flow outwards and carry us forward as it needs to.

I want to unfold. Let no place in me hold itself closed, for where I am closed, I am false. I want to stay clear in your sight.

Rainer Maria Rilke