I keep my distance
Because out here
I can breathe the clear air
Here I find a freedom
That all too quickly disappears
When we are close
As I feel the restless beating of my heart
Marking out the time
And the deep spaces between loss
Filled with so very much
That is hard to speak of
So if I stay this way away
I pray you understand
There will be a time for me one day
To come close
And hold your hand
When I fear the dam
Holding all of this grief
Will not obliterate the land
For what will happen if we both drown
And amidst the deluge
There will only be bodies
Found
Disinterred remains
Of all of that sorrow and pain
We witnessed on this journey
Through our lives
But I can never take out the knife
And cut away
For to do would be to impede the flow
Between you and me
That leads to truth
So I can only wait and pray
Out here in the plain air
To find a way to withstand
This terrible fear
Of being close
Those last two lines are so haunting
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I really struggle with this. I was just reading about how important really r6ouchung and connecting with others can be. But at times I find it hard. Possibly fear of loss or vulnerability in the relatiinship with my sistee now? Not totally sure…hope you are feeling okay tonight..π
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Yes hope you are.
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