Pressure

The pressure you put on me

Makes it hard to breathe

When you ask for this help

I start to feel anxiety rushing through

With chemicals in my bloodstream

Suddenly making me feel trapped and unfree

Maybe before

When I thought everything was my fault

The lack of connection

The searing jolts of pain

As lovers left telling me of all

The ways I fell short

I may have tried anything

To hold onto connection

But now my love

I am finally breaking free

Of fear of separation and death

So please don’t ask me

To ransom my own bequest

In order to save you from the fate you’ve chosen

It may seem harsh

For me to say No

And believe me that word doesn’t come lightly

Falling off my tongue like dew

All of these boundaries

Are very new to me

But I must now pay the price of being free

So please I beg you

Stop asking all this of me

I am no longer going to fold

Myself up

Just so I don’t have to be alone