I don’t need all of this
A series of locked doors
A whole heap of roads going nowhere
Frustration pain of blockages
Spiralling me deep deep down
Into the abyss again
I was so nearly free of
I honestly don’t know what this curse is
That is being visited upon my head
It is just causing me more and more pain
And my insides feel as though they are filled
With leaden filings
That will bury me
All the hopes of love and connection we had
Are slowly disappearing
As you lash out
Blaming me
Making the pain in my heart extreme
But this is such familiar ground
Is yet again
The destruction of hope
The agony of thwarted desire
The deep ancestral curse
Of separation
Emerging From The Dark Night 
Hugs Deb. I feel the pain in this poem. Xxx
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Nothing I can do can get Scott out Carol Anne. He is so angry with me. I had to be honest to the bank as the squeezed it out of me but because he is over there on special covert operations so much as to be hidden and of course the bank think Im a stupid little woman giving all her money away when its only a small amount I can well afford. They have fucking frozen my account and now Scott is livid with me saying I caused it by telling them the truth.. its breaking me I WAS ONLY BEING HONEST.
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Deborah, anyone who blames you and makes you feel this way is not worth your heart and soul. You did what you could, and you did the right thing. You’re not to blame.
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Thanks Rayne you are night he is calling me into doubt all the time.. hitting me where I am vulnerable maybe so I can stand up and finally throw off this undeserved guilt shame and low self esteem I carry inside me. Thanks so much you are so right Hugs and much love ❤ ❤ ❤
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